The Indespensible Path To Nowhere
Tricky post to give a title to, but I wanted to hint at the idea that, yes, there is a process, but the process leads you to the conclusion that none of it was necessary, that there is nowhere to go, that there’s nothing to add.
After a decade plus of meditation and a whole lot of reading, what all the techniques hint at are this:
Who you are is whole, complete, vibrantly at peace, in harmony with life and the present moment. There’s nothing flawed or wrong with you.
But there is a habitual behaviour which, over time, clouds this presence.
The habit comes with the intelligence humans have — the ability to conceptualise yourself and therefore to have a like/dislike relationship with what you are and what happens to you. Things instead of just ‘being’ become ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for that being, and it takes place in time, in what has happened or could happen.
This in itself isn’t terrible. But because it’s imbued with a sense of self beyond the simple fact of “it’s raining which is not ideal for my shoes” or “it’s sunny which is a perfect weather for a walk”. A story is now created, a mental humdrum that:
- takes on all your attention
- seeps into the subconscious mind and lingers
Instead of being present, simple awareness is clouded by an instituctual, constant mind churn which, in its essence, is dysfunctional — it doesn’t support peace or wellbeing but traps you in a maelstrom of useless and negative emotions.
So what is the way out? What is the process of returning at the starting point, returning to an original state — not devoid of knowledge but cleared of uncontrollable and negative mind patterns.
To make those mind patterns conscious, and especially stuff that has become part of the subconscious.
Consciousness, awareness, silent observation, non-judgemental observation is all that is needed.
And meditation is that: to sit (or stand or walk or run) but to do it with awareness of what is, externally and internally. One must keep enough focus on one’s body, one’s thoughts and one’s emotions (thoughts and body intertwining). But in sitting and observing… no judgement! Just acceptance.
In meditation, there can be no craving for good thoughts and feelings and there can be no aversion to negative thoughts and feelings. Engaging with those only takes you further away from awareness and presence, and increases the momentum of the mind.
Acceptance of what is; that’s the only thing needed. Well, conscious acceptance is all that is needed. Just look and acknowledge, without getting roped in, withough a like or dislike, just awareness and warmth.
Soon, the meditation that most people can’t bare to sit through becomes a moment of lightness and delight. It hints at what life can be like all -or at least most- of the time.
To just be aware of the mind, the body, the sensations, the emotions and give them space, instead of taking a myopic look into them and dive into the exploration of dualistic nature, of good and bad. Just space and awareness, until it rewires the brain, until that momentum becomes stronger than the previous ego-led momentum.
That’s all.
